It’s ME! HUMPHREY of Rocky Bay. Yes, finally, I’m getting a look in again. I’ve been simply ignored by Shared Kitchen of late and although I’ve staged several protests – shredding her dressing gown belt, shredding the cane chair leg (‘you’re ruining it Humphrey, simply ruining it,’ she bleats, and I think well then, why can’t I just have it!). And I’ve been demanding my kitty food again, but to no avail – every Tuesday and Wednesday morning I may as well not be here.
But then I heard her and Ilaria talking about Hump Day, and I thought YES, at last, my turn was coming. So here I am. I’ve got a whole line up of pics to show you how I spend my day here on Waiheke. I’m quite busy! There’s that smug little black cat that hangs around trying to nick my food. He used to terrorise me, but, do you know what? I’ve grown to be twice his size! Ha! What luck. I’m quite a spectacle now. In a nice way, of course. I’m LONG and fluffyish and I’ve still got my gorgeous tail which I fluff out so I look even bigger. HeHe. I’m quite pleased about that, even if it is all smoke and mirrors. It helps me scare off little runts. I’ve heard her talk nicely about that slinky black cat though, ‘all shiny’, she says ‘must be from a good home’, that sort of talk, and I think if I wasn’t here … Oh, I don’t want to think about that, it’s too upsetting. But for now I am Top Cat, or is it King of the Castle? No way am I a Queen – I’ve left that to Winston (apart from a bit of cross dressing to fill in time on those boring wet days stuck inside…). Whatever. It’s all about me, and that’s how I like it. Except for Tuesdays and Wednesday mornings.
This is one of my fave morning spots, when there’s not much going on outside. I sit here and wait for the sun.
I like to do a spot of hunting in the vege patch. It’s full of worms. I just pretend to catch them because they freak me a bit, all wriggly and heading off in one direction, then the other. You’d think they would work out where they wanted to go instead of teasing me.
I sharpen my claws on the post she must have put here for me. Sometimes I jump up, but not too high, cos it freaks me out. Like I can do it, but if I look down, I get a bit scared. She says I must have been dropped on my head as a baby. Whatever. I tell her I-just-don’t-like-heights-alright.
I’ve learnt how to ring the bell to get in. I jiggle the lead thingy by the door. Then I sit there and wait, and she comes. She’s got good hearing! Once I’m in, if I want to get out, which is sometimes immediately after I just get in for some reason I haven’t quite understood, but it feels urgent, I just jiggle the lead thingy again and she lets me out. If I want to get in and she doesn’t hear me, I have to be a bit more assertive and hang from the window ledge. It’s fun doing that, all stretched up and tall. She sees me then and laughs and it always works. In I hop!
Sometimes I try her clothes on when she is out. They smell nice, too. (BTW I still love my red blankie!)
I like to do my wash in private. Did you know that we can’t really hear when we are licking? That’s why we like to wash in private, somewhere safe, so slinky black cats can’t sneak up on us. Washing is quite exhausting and I usually get sleepy towards the end (sometimes I nod off mid job). When I’m done, I like to curl up into a ball. Then I am out to the count until the damn phone rings or someone knocks on the door. Annoying.
I have also told her I am fed up with all the rain but she doesn’t seem to do much about that. And I don’t like lumps in my food. I’d be happy with my kitten food if she wouldn’t mind buying that for me. Although the roast chicken and spinach florentine in white sauce is quite nice, and the salmon thingabobby, too.
But these are small gripes. Mostly, I like living here in Rocky Bay. She goes out quite a bit, but she always comes home, and I’m used to that carry on now. Sometimes she comes home without the car. Now that’s a trick. I think how did she get here?
My favourite time ever though is when she looks me in the eyes, and her eyes close a bit and go all sort of soft and are not wide and staring anymore, and she coos ‘Humpf, Humpfffff’, and it’s just me and her and it’s then I know she really loves me more than anything else in the world. It’s the best Humpf day ever.